How Ever Did We Get This Way?


My dear, oh dear, my sweet sweet dear…
How ever did we get this way?
 
Was it the wine, or duck frappe?
Or subtle talk and winks of play?
We both agreed we knew the way
But oh how our passions ruined the day
 
What of my wife, and children too?
Or your career in seedy-street Cancun?
What would they say if found we two
Like Priest and altar boy on the pew?
 
We played it safe, covered our tracks
Paid with cash and both took cabs
Now all that planning is for naught
What will we do when we are caught?
 
My dear, oh dear, my sweet sweet dear…
How ever did we get this way?
 
Yes I said I’m good with knots
but your no master with that lock
Wait, lets not fight, we’ll think this threw
Though its quite very hard to do
 
The word was set and setting made
Candles lit and rubber sheets laid
But now we’re stuck in a peculiar way
This shoe in my ass isn’t helping a thing
 
So when the maid comes soon
Oh now what could we exclaim?
Will she scream and run out, Crying
“Satan has entered the world on this day!”
 
My dear, oh dear, my sweet sweet dear…
How ever did we get this way?
 
With this ball gag in my mouth
and those ropes on your breasts
these damn shackles on my balls
and that lava-lamp in your nest
 
They’ll scream of perversion
It will make the front page
But perhaps, yes I think so
I may have found the way
 
Move your ass just a bit
and we’ll get to swinging
I’ll rock myself this way
Now you get what I’m thinking
 
My dear, oh dear, my sweet sweet dear…
How ever did we get this way?
 
What started as fun and delight
got carried away, too many knots
shackles, cuffs, ropes and band-aids
but we’ve got it now, just a tiny bit more
 
There we go! as we land hard
with a *PLOP* on the floor
quick get into the bathroom
that’s the click of the door!!
 
“Hola Senor, need housekeeping today?
“No thank you!” I cried loud, “Please go away”
I fast stepped quickly over, wishing her a good day
wax and wet fluids dripping down all the way
 
My dear, oh dear, my sweet sweet dear…
How ever did we get this way?
 
Just towel off quickly and be on your way
I’m leaving right now so lets both be away
I don’t know your name and really don’t care to
We never speak of this, I don’t have to tell you
 
Yes please grab your things and come quickly
lets go, no we won’t clean up any of this
we really must go, I’ll just leave a big tip
they know the score here in Ol’ Mexico
 
Out the door, there we go, on our separate ways
As we open the door there are bright flashes “HEY!!”
“Mr. Senator, hello! Oh, who is this lady?!?!”
“Smile wide for the camera, front page is awaiting!!”
 
My dear, oh dear, my sweet sweet dear…
How ever did we get this way?

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