We live in a society that champions the downtrodden, the victim and the nobody. Everyone wants to BE equal. To BE treated the same. Well I’ll let you all in on a little secret that you might not know, though I’m sure you do… WE’RE not all the FREAKIN SAME!!!! Look around you? Are we the spitting image of each other? What if you all looked like me, talked like me, dressed like me and acted like me. Sweet damn, I would kill myself. 😉
“But Milton, you’re white, you’re guilty of everything!” This phrase, spoke in jest one day by an American-Indian friend years ago, gave me a good guffaw and we tossed around the idea for a good long while. I blamed him and his people for every white persons receding hairline, from too many past scalping’s is how I put it and we both blamed each other for finishing off the bottle of Jack that we had passed back and forth while sitting on his roof. Ah… I miss my friend.
Unfortunately for those who feel it is all my fault, I am not an apologist. I’ll not take the sins or crimes of others, no matter how much I may physically resemble the offenders , upon myself and I’ll not beg your forgiveness.
*mewling* “I’m sorry so we did this, and that, and that, and that other terrible thing.” Is what I should apparently be saying. You know, like a loser.
And what is this WE crap? Shall I expect apologies from every woman of merit and accomplishment in this building that is a strong individual in her own right for the backwards notions and hateful attributions of certain hardline feminists? I think not! But I have read and heard of much the same thing from several macho-mechanistic males that promote a return to “traditional values”.
And I’ve listened to some stay at home moms that think woman out in the workplace are creating unfair and biased environments for their husbands who find it harder to get that “good ol’ boy” promotion.
“Boohoo, Daddy can’t bring home the bacon like he used too.” They might say. You know, like a loser. Because now he has to compete with a whole other brand of intelligence, resourcefulness and unique perspective. I mean women. Daddy better step up his game.
Shall I go down the list?
German ancestry? NAZI!!! Give money to your local Synagogue!
Chinese ancestry? Communist!!! Free Tibet!!!
Dutch? Creators of the international slave trade!!! You must lobby for human rights in Africa!!
British? Occupier and Oppressor of Ireland!! Find a pub and buy a round of drinks!!
African? Tribal mass murderer!!! Stop killing your own people!
And the list, whether old or new, goes on and on and on. No matter whether you grew up in the era or environment where it took place, or if you are indeed even related to anyone that experienced the situation and times to which you are judged an accomplice to, GUILTY!!!
I could go on and on and on, every ethnicity, race, creed, gender and regional association at one point or another in recent and past times has something that according to the victims and martyred many of this world we should apologize for. At least some of us.
Well, I’ll be glad to spoil your fun. I’ve never owned slaves or promoted the slave trade, took part in or sponsored genocide, oppressed anyone based upon gender or orientation or blamed my situation in life on other people. I doubt anyone in this room has either. Would anyone like to confess to doing any of these things?
I didn’t think so. So why do we apologize for these things?
Because we are brow beaten with images on the television, accounting’s in the news and historical documents of things that people who resemble us or come from places we lived or came from did. We are made to share in the shame of their deeds and actions.
So how can you smile happily and say, “Nope, not me.” Like the self-assured person you are, Instead of, ‘I’m sorry.” ??? You know, like a weakling.
Ask them questions. How does this pertain to me? Why is it my fault? Are you accusing me of something? What makes you think I was part of that? I guarantee they will expose one of two things, either their ignorance of the actual events or their prejudice in something you physically represent. You know, like a bigot.
Too many times people automatically take on the guilt of those accusing them and immediately identify with it. And then we become the victims of our own guilt. We suffer the accuser and their damning labels. Inquisition anyway?
Educate yourself. If there are things from the past which ancestors or fellow countrymen and women took part in that were less than stellar in the area of relative morals, check up on it. Read both sides of the story and then search for that unique third side perspective, both inside and out. Then you can ask THEM the questions. Putting offensively baseless people on the DEFENSIVE is a delightful and gratifying experience.
We all too often bow our heads and hearts in submission to zealous ruffians that espouse and proclaim their own lopsided biases, opinions and prejudices because the passion and boldness overwhelms us.
As the saying goes; “Stay Calm and Refuse to Apologize”.
I am all for owning up to my mistakes that I have made. I am human. I quite enjoying growing and learning from my failures. I am intelligent. And I accept that there is nothing I can do, hard as I try, to stop making mistakes on occasion and from failing just as often. But I’ll not be the scapegoat or the leper, the victim or the oppressive apologist. What I hold to be responsible for are the actions, words and deeds that I have displayed in my life, no more and no less. I revel in my triumphs and accept my shortcomings.
But I’ll not apologize for yours, and you should never have to, now or in a thousand years have to apologize for mine.